Project Bookworm

I am disgusted with this book - I'm literally rage-reading it at this point. My boyfriend called me a masochist because I refuse to DNF. I do not review books I DNF because I personally don't feel like I can give an honest review of the entire work that way. I want to be very thorough with a review of a book like this. 

I have read chapters 7 through 13. There is too much crap to list - it would make this update even longer than it is going to be (which is probably still pretty long.) Here's the lowdown: 

Chapter 7: 

Post chapter 6 make-out session, Lilliana has doubts about stopping him from going further. Tucker takes her out to lunch, trying to work his way into getting both into her pants and his hands on her land. He also has flashes of guilt, but represses it by telling himself he is right and everyone else is stupid/wrong - including his own parents. Lilliana ends up confronting him about his intentions of getting her land, they fight, and don't speak for a week. 

I was very proud of Lilliana for standing up for herself and confronting him. She has some great quotes: 

"You're just like all the rest of those vultures after my land. ...I know what you want from me: 112 acres and my panties in your trophy case. I'm not stupid, Tucker McGrath. ...My land is not for sale and neither am I!" p. 71

"Good, honest people don't make enemies, Tucker, and someone who has a lot of enemies usually has them for a reason. I, for one, am not going to end up like the rest of the people you've stepped on to get what you want." p. 72

If only she could keep this resolve. 

Chapter 8: 

Tucker shows up at Lilliana's house and talks her into taking a drive with him to an animal rescue interested in leasing land for their horses. (Lilliana revealed that she was thinking of donating some of her acreage to an animal rescue in the previous chapter - an idea that, of course, enraged Tucker.) On the way there, Lilliana manages to anger Tucker to the point of jamming on his brakes and skidding the car onto the shoulder - scaring the hell out of her - and getting out of the car to throw a hissy fit. Being the good manipulated woman that she is, Lilliana gets out and apologizes to him in hopes of calming him down. Instead, he grabs her and forces her into an unwanted kiss, refusing to release her when she struggles and tries to shove him away. 

The last time I read about a kiss like this, it was in Nenia Campbell's Fearscape, and it was portrayed there as horrifying. (Nenia, I promise reviews are on their way!) A forced kiss is a form of sexual assault, especially when the perpetrator refuses to let the other person go. Ms. Campbell got it right. It is terrifying and a violation of a person's body. Here, it was portrayed as, you guessed it, hot. Once Lilliana stops fighting, she relaxes into the kiss and realizes she enjoys it. Ah, yes, isn't that similar to the line most perpetrators of sexual assault use? "Relax, baby, just enjoy it."

So, ladies, the next time some guy grabs you and plants an unwanted, possessive kiss on you, just relax! It'll feel good! You won't feel violated in the least! 

Just kidding! THIS is the correct response: 

Chapter 9: 

Now at the animal rescue, Tucker and Lilliana decide to go for a horseback ride - and he decides it should be on the same horse. I would think of this as cute if she were a novice rider and needed help getting used to handling such a powerful animal, but she has grown up on a farm and has plenty of experience with horses - she doesn't need his guidance. I found this controlling and insulting - she doesn't even get to hold the reins - he does. She just sits on the horse doing nothing but be molested by his humpy crotch. Again, she thinks this is arousing. 

While on their ride - off where no one can see them - Lilliana playfully teases him by rubbing her butt on his crotch. He becomes enraged, thinking that she's mocking him and GRABS HER BY THE THROAT! 

...He reached over her arm and chest effectively pinning it down and wrapped his long fingers around her throat, forcing her head back onto his chest so he could see her face. 
"Don't mock me, Lilly," he snarled into her ear, caressing her neck gently with his fingertips. 
"Tucker," she whimpered, clearly alarmed by his forceful gesture. Her hands came up and tried to loosen his grip, but the precarious and vulnerable position Tucker had her in left her helpless. p. 89

By the way, his other hand is squeezing her breast painfully - and they're still on horseback. 

At this point, my reaction is: 
Seriously, say whatever you have to until he lets you go, then do one of these:
Knock his ass off the back of the horse and gallop that beast to safety!

Lilliana's response? SHE GETS AROUSED! 

Now, I know there is a fetish for that kind of thing, and I'm not, in any way, saying it is wrong for people to be into it. HOWEVER, this usually is not an act perpetrated out of rage when used in a sexual manner - and it is something both parties know is going to happen. It's also something that both parties have discussed beforehand, and something you ease into. NONE of that is applicable here. THIS is a scene similar to those in any of the numerous films or texts featuring domestic violence. The woman pisses off the man, he retaliates by gripping her throat and choking her. (And DON'T tell me he wasn't choking her! A hand on the throat gripped tightly enough to force her head back is applying a pressure to her trachea, making it hard for her to breathe.) 

Ladies, according to this book, if a man grabs you by the throat and sexually assaults your breasts, it's okay as long as he's hot. 

He wanted nothing else but to fill her mouth with his cock and to fuck the mockery right out of it and make her surrender completely to him. p. 89

My reaction to this statement:

Chapter 10: 

Tucker finally releases her throat and breast. At first she fights him but he tells her to stop resisting, so she does. 

Lilliana should have jumped ship at that point and she damned well knew it, but no one had ever taken control of her the way Tucker just had and it felt good; too good. p. 91

Because, you know, a man choking you out of anger should arouse you sexually, not make you flee in terror. 

God, yes, she wanted to be Tucker's pet, the consequences be damned to hell and her own fears and everyone else's warnings be damned for all time. She was in control of her own destiny. p. 91

No, you're putting Tucker in charge of your destiny! And, yes, it is always smart not to heed the warnings of people who have known the man for years and to ignore your own gut instincts. 

Tucker tries to explain himself - not apologizing, mind you, it's HER fault he handled her so roughly! 

"i'm strict and often times unyielding, but rarely harsh. But you ... you make me feel like an untamed, wild creature - feral, rabid and unpredictable."
"You don't ever have to explain your actions to me, Tucker." p. 92

Damn right, there's no explanation for those actions! You should run like hell! Oh, ... you mean he has every right to handle you roughly with no explanation necessary. 
He tells her he's into dominance/submission and bondage - which turns her on even more, because, you know, allowing a man who would choke you, to tie you up and have you at his mercy is a good idea. 

"...I'm going to make my rules very simple: I command. You obey. Always. Am I clear?"
"Crystal."

Oh boy ... here we go....

Tucker also calls vagina's "bobos." All I can think of when I see/hear the term bobo is this:

Mr. Burns loves Bobo the bear. 

Chapter 11: 

Lilliana googles bondage and discipline on her lunch hour - the author doesn't describe what Lilliana finds, just that it's "kinky and a bit old-fashioned." Possibly because the author knows very little about the lifestyle, except what she has seen in porn. 

Not only is the vagina referred to as a "bobo," it is now also referred to as a "juice box." 

Yeah, a vagina is exactly what I think of when someone mentions a juice box. Gross.

Of course, her privates have to be cleanly-shaven to be considered sexy. Heaven forbid she have a little hair down there! And, this trash is written for a female audience, correct? Why the focus on what her lady bits look like? 

Tucker has asked her to spend the weekend with him, so she packs an overnight bag. He comes over to pick her up, and they end up in her bedroom - him spanking her, then pleasing her orally until she squirts. She begins drooling over the idea of giving him fellatio, because, all women drool at the thought of a penis in their mouths. She begins to do so, he grabs her head and tries to force her to deep-throat him (because you obviously cannot please a man orally unless you practically ingest his wang), she gags and feels terrible that she can't do what he wants her to (Most women can't do that, and it shouldn't be expected of them!).
Tucker: "No worries, pet. That sort of skill comes with a lot of practice and I intend to give you plenty of it until you get it right." (Because you can't possibly please me unless you choke on my dick.)

Tucker's kindness and patience with her urged her forward. p. 121

KINDNESS?! PATIENCE?! The man is thrusting his penis into your throat and basically telling you that you're not good enough if you can't deep-throat him! THAT IS NOT KINDNESS OR PATIENCE! He's also going to insist on a lot more blow jobs until she gets it right - because there is only one right way to give fellatio - the porn star way. Seriously, are women really turned on by the idea of deep-throating a penis? Maybe I'm in the minority in not wanting a penis shoved down my throat, but I don't think so. 

Lilliana calls his semen a "precious gift." 

Chapter 12: 

Lilliana and Tucker actually go out on a real date where they take swing dance lessons and have a blast, then go back for dinner at his place. While he cooks they rip off 9 1/2 Weeks with him blindfolding her and feeding her foods - the catch is she has to guess what kind of food she's eating, in order to be granted an orgasm. They end up having sex on the kitchen island while waiting for the food to cook. 

Annoying Tucker Behavior of the Chapter: 
He had asked her to spend the weekend with him, then makes her feel stupid for assuming that meant spending the night with him. He acts like that wasn't what he wanted at all, then gets offended when she tries to leave - thinking she has overstepped her bounds.

What was she supposed to think? Most people assume spending the weekend together means spending the night together. Don't be ashamed, Lilliana - well, not of your assumption anyway. He's being a jerk, as usual. 

He also just has this aloof attitude - acting like he's superior to her because he makes more money. He thinks her dental hygienist salary meager (it's not, it's a livable wage), and wonders to himself how she could possibly have gotten him a gift. 

Lilliana does a sexy dance for him - his reaction is less than attractive, in my opinion.
He bounced up and down on the bed like a sex-depraved lunatic at a strip club, clapping his hands as Lilliana continued to shimmy her ass... p. 139

She finds it alluring, but I would have found it juvenile. Contain yourself, man! You remind me of Tommy Jarvis (Friday the 13th: Part 4) seeing a naked woman for the first time. (He sees her from his bedroom window, the woman is unaware.)
This smile with A LOT more bouncing around and weird noises. 

Chapter 13: 

Lilliana wakes up after a round of sex, and explores his house while he's still asleep. He wakes up and finds her. Lots of inane discussion ensues - we learn that Tucker would rather blow his money on objects he'll never make use of, than donate money to charity. He scoffs at the idea. 
"Charity? ...Since when did you become a humanitarian?"

"I'm not. I just can't figure out why you need all this."

"No one needs a house this big, silly girl." 

What is so wrong with giving money to charity? Is it so laughable to give to the less fortunate? I guess it is, when you're a greedy douche living all alone in a mansion. Can't part with a dime, though! 

He shows her the time-out room, where he keeps all of his kinky sex equipment. They bone in the sex swing, and he ejaculates on her chest and stomach - because that's sexy. 

I've never understood the appeal of this move. I, for one, would feel so degraded, like I'm nothing but a tissue for his ejaculate. It's disgusting, and the idea makes me want to puke.

The next morning, they have breakfast and go to her house where she gives him a tour of her property. She confronts him about the fact that he still wants the acreage, which he doesn't deny. She gets angry. Instead of commenting on that in any way, he decides he's going to try and dominate a woman who is seething on the inside. 
"To hell with lunch. All I want is to fuck that sassy mouth of yours and see you on your knees again." p. 157

She ignores him, he spins her around and forces her onto her knees, and unzips his pants, waving his hard penis in her face. He tells her to "Do it" but she refuses. He gets angry. 
"Do you want to be punished? Is this your way of trying to elicit a response of that kind out of me?"
"You don't own me, Tucker McGrath, and I haven't signed anything yet stating that you can do whatever the hell you want to me...."

"I once told you that I will not be topped and I meant it. I'm not playing games with you. Either you provide me with what I need and submit to me, or I'll find someone who will." p. 157

I love how Lilliana reacts to this! She gets up and opens her door, gesturing for him to leave. 
"Then find someone else." p. 158

He leaves, but she can't stop herself from kissing him one more time. 

We all know this strength won't last for long. But it's nice when it occurs. 

54% to go.